My family members often joke that my baby Levi eats more than my toddler Myles and I usually laugh with them, but I know deep down that it’s the truth. When Myles was Levi’s age he ate so much and was willing to try anything. He wasn’t picky, explored different textures, and was willing to give everything a shot. Once he hit toddlerhood, things started to change. My little guy who used to love all types of fruits and veggies wanted to live on just crackers and smoothies. He started getting picky and didn’t care to sit down to enjoy a meal. When he does sit down to eat, he usually only eats a small amount before he tells me that he’s done. Here today to tell you that this is normal. Is it frustrating at times? Absolutely…but normal.
At Myles’ 18 month appointment I was confident that our pediatrician was going to tell us that he wasn’t eating enough. I was already preparing a speech that I’d tell her about his eating habits and why he wasn’t consuming much daily. When she came into the room and told me that “he’s growing great” I thought to myself, growing great??? How?? She told me that he was following his growth curve and consuming exactly what he needs.
Many times what we think our little ones need is much more than what their bodies tell them that they need. I let Myles regulate his food intake and trust that he’s eating the right amount for what his body needs. Are there days that he eats great? Absolutely! Are there days where he barely has a good meal the entire day? For sure. Toddler appetites fluctuate so much, so I keep that in mind and have peace knowing that he’s in tune with his body.
My Child Won't Eat Vegetables. What Can I Do?
Continue to offer a variety of foods and try to make things interesting and fun! Involve your toddlers in the kitchen and try to make meal times an enjoyable experience!
It is so important that we allow our babies and toddlers to listen to their internal hunger cues. They are in tune with their bodies and when we try to interfere with this natural ability, that is when power struggles and negative relationships with food come into play. Of course if you are seriously concerned, contact your pediatrician, but the division of responsibility still applies in toddlerhood. It is our job as caregivers to provide nutritious meals and their job to choose what, when, and how much to eat.You've spent all this time preparing a nutritious meal and your toddler won't eat it! You're frustrated and worried that they're not getting the nutrients they need to grow.
Before you startthinking your child is turning into a picky eater, here are some top reasons why they might turn down food and what you can do as a parent to use these opportunities to teach healthy eating habits.
What My Toddler Chose To Eat
When your toddler says no to the food you so lovingly prepared, it can leave you feeling frustrated, anxious, worried, confused, helpless...So many thoughts and emotions run through your mind.
And so often we turn to ourselves and start the self-blame game. It's because I'm not a good cook. I cooked the food for too long. I served too much (or too little). And on and on.
But please please hear me when I say, your toddler not eating is not always because of the food.Your toddler may refuse to eat for a lot of different reasons. Let's dive into them right now and learn what you can do to help your child to become mindful, joyous eaters.
My Toddler Isn't Eating Much. What's Normal And What's Not?
Think about your own appetite and how it fluctuates. This holds true for toddlers as well. We also must consider the fact that after the age of two, their growth slows down drastically, which may further decrease their desire to eat.
To put into perspective, during the first year, babies triple their birth weights. During toddlerhood, average weight gain is around 4.5- 6.5 pounds and 2.5-3.5 inches per year. So it's not as exponential but it is steady.
Here's my advice. Don’t take it personally. It’s discouraging to see food that you put so much thought and effort into getting pushed away, but you have to honor their innate ability to self-regulate.
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And please don’t worry! Say what? I know. It’s so hard. We so much want them to be well-fed and the idea of letting them go for several hours without eating doesn’t sit well with us, protective mamas! But hear me out. I can’t emphasize this enough.
They should be allowed to respond to their own hunger cues. Believe it or not, they are REALLY good at responding to their feelings of hunger and fullness, and eating as much as they need for growth and energy. Think about it this way. How would you feel if someone forces you to eat when you have absolutely no appetite?
I don’t know about you but know I'd get so irritated! Stay relaxed. Stay consistent with your mealtime structure and use responsive feeding practices.
Toddler Won't Eat Dinner? 9 Simple Strategies That Work
Once upon a time, you had a baby who was super happy and eager to follow your lead. Now you have a toddler who thrives on testing boundaries, wants to do everything their way, all the while screaming NO to everything. So of course, saying no to eating is bound to happen. It’s a NORMAL part of development.
So if they decide to skip a meal, then you gently remind them that the kitchen will be closed until the next snack/mealtime. This is difficult for us as parents who were raised to clean our plates and not waste food.
However, consider this as a great learning opportunity. They need to learn the consequences of choosing not to eat. They need to learn what it feels like to be hungry.
Picky Eaters: Commonly Asked Questions
Bottom line: we need to trust and honor their choices. If they start misbehaving at the table, you can give a gentle warning that the meal will end soon if they continue. You can be positive, yet firm and caring.
Don’t offer something else if the food you served gets rejected. Why? Because that just reinforces the behavior, and you’ll quickly find yourself taking on the role of a short order cook. Not to mention, it will diminish their appetite, which will further decrease their willingness to try new/disliked foods.
I know. The temptation to say YES is so strong bc let’s face it! We just want our kids to be happy! Catering may seem effective in the moment. Your child gets fed and meltdowns are avoided. However, think about the long-term consequences.
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By doing so, you end up encouraging picky eating and your child’s health suffers. It may even hurt the mother/father-child relationship in the long run. Remember, you can love your child and say NO to their food requests.
What I highly encourage you to do at every mealtime is serve foods that they enjoy with new/disliked food. That way, even if your child eats just the food(s) they love, they're still getting some sort of nutrition AND exposure to the food they haven't quite opened up to, YET.
They're constantly grazing, or snacking randomly throughout the day. That means less appetite during the actual mealtimes. Again, this is why having a mealtime structure is so important!
How To Get Your Toddler To Eat
Physically, when the body is under stress, it shifts into the fight or flight mode, producing hormones that shut down appetite. And then there’s the emotional and mental component. Your toddler may turn to various coping strategies to help minimize anxiety, such as whining or crying, refusing to eat, acting out at the table, unable to sit still, etc.
Here's my advice. Keep your emotions in check. Make sure you don’t come to the table feeling anxious or displaying any negative energy. Don’t pressure, or force, your child to eat in any way.
Perhaps you find yourself saying, “just another bite, eat that, finish that.” Or you’re watching their every move like a hawk, pushing the food closer, trying to spoon-feed. These are all forms of pressure.
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Instead, fall back on the Division of Responsibility. You, as the parent, are in charge of what, when, and where. Your child is responsible for how much and whether or not they will eat. That means once the food is on the table, you’ve done your part. It’s time to sit back and let your child take the reins.
And try to take the focus away from the food. Don't talk about what's being eaten and what's not. Instead, focus on enjoying the time together at the table.
There's actually a term for this - food neophobia. All of us experience this to some extent but it really peaks between 2-6 years. This is actually a protective mechanism (just like gagging in babies when they first start solids) to prevent children from consuming toxic or unsafe foods.
When To Be Concerned If Your Child Is A Picky Eater
So yes, food neophobia is innate but this behavior can be overcome through repeated exposure to new foods! So what's the best thing you can do to encourage your child to give the scary food a try? Regardless
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